Monthly Archives: May 2016

You Are Whom You Ate

Huh ! Did I get it right ? Possibly by the year 2022. Planet Earth will be so crowded, resources will be very scarce, and older folks will be in abundance (competing with younger ones for food, shelter and jobs).

One solution will be to reduce the oldies and increase food supply. How ? Just recycle the “unproductive” into nutritional, nourishing Soylent Green. It is not just people, it will be delicious, and low carb some more lah !

Ok, just a recall of the 1973 movie, starring Charlton Heston.  No need for alarm yet.

It was Sci-Fi, but I think the scenario is moving ever closer to Reality. Should be a grim reminder to those who myopically plot to boost GDP by swelling the population

Moke and Mini

It was a Moke and it was a Mini, in outdoor fun garb.  And one that could go topless as well. Oh, “nanoo nanoo”, it also reminded me of Mork and Mindy (theirs was a Jeep).

When it first caught my attention — in the late 70s — I thought I saw a big-eye bug on wheels.  It was very popular as a beach buggy in places like Australia.   I wanted to get hold of one, but alas, poor me, even by the time it went out of production, I could not amass enough dollars to afford it.

BTW, the word Moke means Donkey in an old English dialect.

Left Was Not Right

A no-brainer statement  — oh really ?

About 10% of earthlings are born South Paws – am one of them.  But around the age of 5, I was forced to switch to the right side of the world.   It was a huge struggle — often ‘b’ became ‘d’ and ‘p’ became ‘q’ (mirror-image effect).  However,with loving encouragement from my parents, I managed to do the right thing for my writing.

I was glad for my parents’ foresight, as later I found almost everything in this world was right-handed — scissors, computer mice, can openers, drafting boards, etc.

It is said that left-handed people are more creative and, better at maths and spatial visualization, and, that if Lefties are forced to be Righties, some will become Nutties.   Not sure if that describes me now.

BMW Experience Of Old

Those were the good old days,  when true love was not measured in $$$$ and everyone could afford a BMW experience.   Bicycle+Man+Woman added up to dearly cherished heart-throbbing delight for couples entrenched in nourishing biochemical reactions.

Values have changed so dramatically over the last half-century.  In China, one lady made a famous statement that went viral over the internet : “I would rather sit in a BMW and cry, than to sit on a bicycle and laugh”.     Very hard times for guys these days – haiz.

Fortunately, am an old man now, and I am thankful I do not have to contend with parting of hundreds of thousands of hard-earned dollars.  Back then, BMW did not cost me an arm and a leg;  just paid for it with my heart. Hehehe !

Bloat Bloat Sotong

Long before the phrase “Blur Blur Sotong” was freely and murkily squirted everywhere in Malaysia and Singapore,  there was this Sotong Kembang or Re-hydrated Dried Squid.   The fauna component of the famous duo in Sotong Kangkong.

Nowadays we can buy them readily in the markets.  Long ago, we made these at home. It was fascinating to see how a dried squid — thin, flat and hard — expanded and bloated into a rubbery mass double its original size, after soaking overnight in alkaline water.  Amazing, to an inquisitive boy.

Members of the family would relish on that sumptuous treat once the flora complement — kangkong — got into the dish with the addition of the sauces, topped with sesame seeds.

As for me, I always avoided the tentacles — yucks, they looked like lizards’ tails !

Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread

We thought so — it just made our humble roti smell and taste like progress.

Each slice of bread was lovingly clasped between the two halves of the toaster (each half made from ‘chicken wire’ mesh with a frame), and one had to skilfully control the charcoal ambers below, the distance from the heat source as well as the length of time.   Any distraction could turn one’s breakfast into idiomatic toasted catastrophe.

The last time I saw one of these ‘gadgets’ was perhaps 40 years ago.   Not sure if others have seen or used one in recent times.

Of course with the advent of modern electric toasters, all it takes is to push a button and a lever, and sit tight and wait.

Love Your Wife ? Give Her Opium and Poison

Guys,forget flowers – that is too mainstream. Get her the “Os and Ps” – in time to come addiction and poisoning will do their jobs.    Poor me, I thought that was the intent behind those names.

When YSL launched Opium in 1977, it sparked a huge uproar by the Chinese (name had ignominious connotation to the Opium Wars of the 19th century) – nevertheless it created many more addicts without firing a single shot.   And probably demolished the fortified bank accounts of many a guy.   “Love is a Money-Expended Thing”, haiz.

Not to be outdone, Christian Dior responded with Poison in 1985, to finish off those whom YSL had missed out.   It has been 39 and 31 years, respectively, since these chemical weapons of love appeared.